Can a book really change a child’s life?

Back in 2024, before the idea of a book had even been dreamed about, I read a story.

It was the story of a young girl in the USA who had borrowed a book that had been banned in many states, but fortunately not in the state that she lived in.
It’s called ‘It’s Perfectly Normal.’ It’s a book for pre-adolescents that shares information about puberty, human sexuality, reproduction and sexual health. It also talks about sexual abuse prevention.

This 10 year old girl was able to borrow the book from her local Delaware library and she took it home and read it. Through the information in this book, she was able to tell her mother that she had been sexually abused by her father. Holding the book up to her mother she said, ‘This is me.’ He was imprisoned and the young girl was made safe.
This is a great example of why these books should be accessible to everyone, and how banning or censoring them would disadvantage so many.

After reading this story we all felt that creating a book specifically designed to prevent child sexual abuse was something that we must do. Having experienced it in our family we felt that we had the knowledge and experience to follow the process through and to create something critically important to the safety of all children.
Secret or Surprise is a book that teaches children:

The difference between a safe and an unsafe person based on how they make you feel,
How to say no to unsafe touch,
How our private parts are private and belong to us,
How to recognise abuse and also to understand that it’s never their fault,
The difference between an unsafe secret and a happy surprise,
That they should always confide in a safe person if something feels wrong, scary or they are told to keep a secret that protects a person that has crossed our boundaries.

This book is an excellent tool, focusing on feelings to identify safe or unsafe touch or behaviour. It’s direct, as it needs to be, but also gentle, empowering and filled with love.

Sexual abuse prevention is not a ‘one and done’ situation. It must be an ongoing conversation which can easily be initiated by Secret or Surprise, as well as open conversations in everyday life including bath time chats and bedtime. There are many resources out there, so find some favourites and start educating them now.
And keep the open conversations going. Kids must know that they can tell you anything and that you will believe them, never blame them, and that you will keep them safe.

Don’t be the person thinking ‘it won’t happen to me’. It can happen to anyone.

Deb x